A Not So Secret Message: What Our Appearance Says About Us

by John Bytheway
September 08, 2003

You need a dress for junior prom. (Note: Boys, you do not need a dress for junior prom—let's make that clear.) What is the dress standard outlined by the First Presidency?

A. "Dress modestly" is the only guideline given.

B. Avoid strapless or spaghetti-strap dresses.

C. Avoid clothing that does not cover the shoulder, is low-cut in front or back, or is revealing in any other manner.

D. There is no specific guideline.

E. Wear only fashions approved by Seventeen magazine.

The answer is C. (Guys, you may think the following (article) was written for young women only. However, I'd like you to read it too, and pay close attention to the part about tattoos, body piercing, and other extreme fashions).
This (article) will be a little harder for me to write than the others. For one thing, I'm not a teenager any more, and for another thing, I've never worn a prom dress in my life. We just had certain rules at my house. In fact, I'm quite sure none of my friends in the priests quorum ever wore prom dresses. I think the entire ward was grateful for that. None of us looked very good in pink chiffon anyway. We tried it once for our ward basketball uniforms, and it just wasn't our color.
I believe it's easy for most young people to understand why listening to bad music, watching bad movies or TV shows, or viewing bad Internet sites would offend the Spirit. What is harder to understand is how our choice of what we wear can offend the Spirit. I'll do my best to explain.
I still remember how interesting it was to be a new missionary in the Missionary Training Center and see what other mission aries wore on preparation day. On "P- day" we took our dress shirts to the laundry and wore casual clothes. Suddenly I discovered things about the other missionaries I didn't know when we all arrived in our white shirts and ties. When one missionary in our district walked into the laundry room, I immediately thought, "Oh, he's a cowboy." Another walked in wearing camouflage army fatigues, and I thought "Oh, ROTC." They probably looked at me when I walked in and said, "Oh, city boy" or, perhaps, "Oh, how sad."
Anyway, my point is that clothes communicate who we are and even what we believe. Imagine if we sent our missionaries out wearing torn, faded jeans and tie- dyed shirts instead of dress pants, classy white shirts, and neckties? What if their noses or ears were pierced and their hair were spiked? What if they looked sloppy instead of sharp? Do you think they'd get in as many doors? Do you think they'd have the chance to share the gospel message with as many people? No way. Their fashion message would get in the way.
What missionaries wear sends a message about who they are and what they believe. Can I say that again? (Of course I can, I'm the author.) What they wear sends a message about who they are and what they believe.

A NOT SO SECRET MESSAGE

What message are you trying to send? When you walk the halls at your high school, what do people think about you from the way you dress? When you make your grand entrance at the prom, what would you rather have people think: "Wow, doesn't she look classy" or "Hey, we already have a Britney Spears"?
As you and I were baptized, we made a covenant. We promised to "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9). We might also add the phrase, "and in all prom dresses" (Carol B. Thomas, "Spiritual Power of Our Baptism," Ensign, May 1999, 93). We can either look like the world or stand out from the world. The fact is, when we were baptized we were taken out of the world and placed in the kingdom of God on earth. Therefore, as members of God's kingdom, we ought to dress and act and behave like children of the King.
What we wear doesn't just send a message, it is a message, and that message either qualifies for the Spirit or it doesn't. It's nice when your shirt and pants match, but as members of the Church, we have to make sure the clothes on our bodies match the testimony in our spirit.
Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you. Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient (For the Strength of Youth, 15).
You may think that others shouldn't make assumptions about people based on their clothes, but they do. If you dress scantily, others might assume your morals are scant as well. If you wear revealing clothes, you may also be revealing your attitude about modesty and virtue. More important, if you dress like the world, the message you send is worldly, and the Spirit cannot accompany worldly things. What exactly is a "worldly" look? I'm glad you asked:
Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire. Young women should wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid clothing that is low- cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner. Young men should also maintain modesty in their appearance. All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle. Always be neat and clean and avoid being sloppy or inappropriately casual in dress, grooming, and manners. Ask yourself, "Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord's presence?" (For the Strength of Youth, 15-16).
The fact is, very few people really need immodesty spelled out with such detail. We all know what it is.

PROM AND CIRCUMSTANCE

I have a friend named Sue Egan who told me something that happened to her when she served as a stake Young Women president. As her children were preparing to go to the junior prom, a large group of young men and young women gathered at her home to drive to the dance together. Being a Young Women leader and a hyper mom, she said to the girls, "Come in and show me your prom dresses!"
(Can you imagine a Young Men president doing the same thing? "Hey, guys, come in and show me your tuxedos! Okay, now twirl around. Say, that's a stylin' cummerbund!" Guys and girls are different—I'm glad.)
One by one the girls walked into the middle of the room, twirled around, and did whatever else you do at a fashion show. Everyone gushed and flowed with compliments as each girl stepped out. Finally it was the last girl's turn to show her dress. Sister Egan didn't intend to embarrass anyone, but the last girl in line didn't walk out. She was lingering in the back of the room for a reason. Her dress did not meet the standard, and she knew it. She finally walked into the room with her head down and her arms crossed in front of her. Her conscience told her she should hide the front of her dress and cover her low neckline.
Sister Egan didn't know what to do. She didn't have to say anything, however, because the girl's dress was immodest, and everyone knew it, including the girl.
Years earlier, when Sister Egan was a younger woman, she was walking north on Main Street in Salt Lake City. Ahead of her a few tourists had stopped on the sidewalk to look through the fence located east of the Salt Lake Temple. As they were watching newlywed couples get their pictures taken, an old man suddenly turned the corner and started walking southbound on Main Street. The tourists noticed him for a moment and then looked back at the newlyweds. Sister Egan thought to herself, "I guess they don't know who that is—that's President Kimball."
When Sister Egan faced her closet that morning, she could have worn anything she wanted. She had no idea whom she might bump into that day. When she met the prophet by accident, she was so glad that she didn't have to look down at the ground with her arms crossed in front of her.
Let's say that the gym floor at your school is being refinished, and your school has to hold junior prom at a large convention center. And let's say that one of your friends discovers that President Hinckley is talking to the press in an adjacent room. Now let's imagine that your friend runs to you and says, "Let's go meet him!" Here's a bold question: Could you do it? Would you feel comfortable meeting the president of the Church in your last prom dress? Good. I thought so.
Some young women might be thinking, "Brother Bytheway, you have no idea how hard it is to find a modest prom dress." They're right. Like I said before, I've never worn a prom dress. In fact, I've never even shopped for one. But if Nephi were here, he might say, "I see your point. And you have no idea how hard it is to get brass plates from a man who is trying to kill you. I had to hike two hundred miles in a desert, and you may need to drive twenty miles in air- conditioned comfort."
When it comes to buying a prom dress, you have a chance to show your true colors. You can respond as Nephi's brothers did: "It is a hard thing which [you] have required of [us]" (1 Nephi 3:5). Or you can respond as Nephi did: "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded" (1 Nephi 3:7).

BUT I WANT TO BE ATTRACTIVE!

Of course you should dress to be attractive, but attractive doesn't mean provocative. You don't want to look like someone with loose morals or like someone who worships her own body. You want others to value you for you, not for how you look. The world speaks in superficial terms about people. Hollywood is interested in "the look" or "the image," and that's about it. I have a friend who was a former Miss Utah (she's now a mom with four kids). She told me that she made many friends while competing in the Miss America pageant, and she knows a lot of young women who later appeared on the front cover of fashion magazines. Guess where they are now?
They're gone. Why? Because they got older. Hollywood and fashion magazines used them for a while and then threw them aside. Why? Because they were nothing but marketing tools for cosmetics. When they got older, they became obsolete. Because the world values a "look" and an "image" and doesn't care a bit about what you are on the inside. In the same way, if you're only concerned about your look, some boys may want to take you to a dance but only as a trophy on their arm. They might care very little about you.
Remember that a modest and classy look is also attractive—especially to those who value modesty and class. The Book of Mormon records a rare occasion when the Nephites were prosperous and righteous at the same time, and it comments on their clothes in these words: "And they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely" (Alma 1:27). I looked up "comely" in the dictionary, and do you know what it means? Attractive. So when you dress, you have to ask yourself a question: Whom am I trying to attract? What type of person would be attracted to me if I dress like this? Those who value modesty or those who don't? And if they don't value modesty, how would they feel about my other standards?
There's another thing you must remember about the impact of dressing immodestly. Suppose there's a guy out there who you really admire and respect. Suppose he's doing his best to be a good person and is on track for graduating from high school and serving a mission. And suppose someone comes along who is dressed immodestly. What will he do? He'll probably turn away. Why? Because he's trying to control his thoughts, and the way some girls dress makes thought control difficult. So instead of being attractive, the young woman who dresses immodesty is actually repulsive. Joy Saunders Lundberg told this story about her nephew:
When one of my returned-missionary nephews was visiting me one day, I asked him about a girl he had been dating. He said, "Oh, we're not dating any more." Though they hadn't dated long, I had the impression he had been quite interested in her. She had seemed to be a good LDS girl. I asked what happened.
"I was starting to fall for her," he said, "and . . . well . . . to tell you the truth, she started wearing clothes that were a little too revealing. I don't mean to sound stuffy, but, honestly, I began to feel uncomfortable. Not because she wasn't pretty to look at, but because I didn't like what it made me think about. I've been trying all my life to be morally clean, and . . . well, I just couldn't chance it, so I broke it off" (in Why Say No When the World Says Yes? Resisting Temptation in an Immoral World, comp. Randal A. Wright [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1993], 47-48).
The way you dress will either help the Holy Spirit do his work or help the evil spirit do his work. I doubt that any Latter- day Saint young women would want to help Satan do his work.

CLASS OR CRASS?

Recently my bishop was preparing to talk to the young women of my ward about the way they dress. Guess where he went to get some advice? To the young men. And what did they say? They said it was hard for them to be around the girls who dressed immodestly. It made them feel uncomfortable and a little embarrassed. They appreciated the girls who dressed modestly because they were easier to be around. They were easier to talk to and make friends with.
I really wish I could use stronger terms about the influence immodest clothing can have on young men, but I'd rather have a woman do that so that I don't blush. Two women would be even better. I'd now like to introduce Irene Ericksen and Jan Pinborough. They wrote a book for college- age young women called Where Do I Go from Here? Their section on modesty was superb. Here it is:

One of the best ways you can "stand as a witness of God" is in the way you dress. How do you want to be treated by those around you? With respect and dignity? How do you hope that young men—and eventually your husband—will treat you? Do you want them to see you as a person first, a soul who has feelings and thoughts? Do you want to help them keep their thoughts clean or be a stumbling block to them? The way you choose to dress plays a big role in determining how others—particularly men—perceive and treat you.
Men's sexual responses are more easily triggered by visual stimuli than are women's. Tight clothing that accentuates the shape of a woman's bust or bottom, clothing that is strapless, off- the- shoulder, low- cut, or shows cleavage, or bares her stomach, back, or thigh immediately draws a man's attention to that part of the woman's body. These visual cues usually trigger sexually oriented feelings, which the man may or may not choose to suppress. He will find it difficult not to think of the woman as a physical object first, rather than as a human soul.
If this is hard for you to believe, it is probably because this is not how you respond to visual stimuli. And, you might think, if you can control your thoughts, why shouldn't men be able to? Simply stated, men are "wired" differently than women. Their reaction is, at least in part, a matter of biology. So when you wear revealing clothing, you are creating a stumbling block for men around you. And this is something the Lord may hold us accountable for as women.
On the other hand, when you dress modestly, you help men think of you as a person first, not as an object of physical desire. This does not mean that you should strive to look unattractive, but rather to be attractive in a modest way. Many of the styles for young women today are immodest. Some are very immodest. But because standards have changed so much in the last ten years, you may not recognize it. So dressing modestly is a challenge. When you get dressed, take a hard look in the mirror and ask, "Does my clothing cling to my body and accentuate my bust and hips? Does my cleavage show, or can someone see down my shirt when I lean forward? Is more of my thigh showing than is not showing? Is my midriff showing?"
You might also ask, "Does my clothing call attention to my body or my beliefs?" Or to put it another way, "Am I wearing the uniform of a daughter of God or a singer on a music video?" . . . You can also ask for feedback from your mother, a female seminary or institute teacher, or an LDS friend. Above all, pray and ask your Heavenly Father how he wants you to look to others.
As you dress in a way that shows respect for yourself and your male friends, you will help to de- sexualize the atmosphere between women and men. This is good for both women and men. Today, more than ever, the Lord needs young Latter- day Saint women to "stand as a witness" by dressing modestly (Where Do I Go from Here? [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 2002], 73- 75).
Again, you want to be valued for you—not for the body you came in. We don't love our grandmas because they look like supermodels. We love them because of who they are. And while we should always take care of ourselves and dress attractively, our real beauty comes from within.
I have a friend named Barbara Barrington Jones who wrote a book titled The Inside- Outside Beauty Book. Sister Jones used to train contestants for the Miss USA pageant, and she was quite successful. As part of their training, each contestant had to write five thank- you notes per day. On some days the contestants had a hard time thinking of five people to thank, but Sister Jones made them persist until they wrote the notes anyway.
Why would she make them do that? It had nothing to do with eyeliner, rouge, or base. It had no relation to hips and thighs and high heels. It was completely unrelated to waving, smiling, and balancing a crown. Sister Jones made them write thank- you notes because she knew that a person who is gracious is a person who is beautiful. Sister Jones, a recognized expert on beauty, knows that real, lasting beauty always comes from within.

THE EYES HAVE IT

Dressing modestly is an issue for boys and girls, men and women. On page sixteen, For the Strength of Youth says, "All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle." "All" means every person of every gender. My friend Brad Wilcox once wrote, "We should dress so that the first thing others notice about us is our face" (Growing Up [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2000], 47).
Once while speaking at a fireside about standards, I stopped suddenly and said, "Look at me!" Everyone in the congregation did exactly as I asked. They looked at me. They looked at my eyes. Can you imagine how strange it would have been if I had said, "Look at me!" and the entire group focused on my right elbow? Or my left hand? Or my knee? Those things aren't me. If you want to look at me, you look in my eyes. If I want to look at you, I look in your eyes.
Some girls want boys to notice them, but they dress so that boys' eyes will be drawn somewhere other than their faces. They want the attention, but their bodies get in the way. Similarly, some boys do extreme things to their hair—spiking or bleaching it, cutting it into a Mohawk, or turning it into a huge fro. I recently saw a boy at a youth conference with a spherical hair thing so large and so high that it was difficult to notice anything about him but his hair. I can only imagine what would have happened had he walked into a room with a low-hanging ceiling fan. Twist and shout! Once again, something got in the way of his eyes.
Also, some boys like to wear their pants so low that they look like they're going to fall off. It may be fashionable to some, but it's extreme, and it draws attention away from their eyes. Most important, it's not the way a young man who holds the Aaronic Priesthood and has taken upon him the name of Christ should dress.
Kirk Tenney, a teachers quorum adviser from Las Vegas, once asked the young men in his class, "How many of you passed the sacrament last week?" They all raised their hands, to which he responded, "I didn't see any of you pass the sacrament." They replied, "Yes we did." Then Brother Tenney said, "When I turned to reach out to the bread tray, I saw Darth Mall. That's the first thing I saw. When the water came around, I didn't see a teacher, I saw a Tasmanian devil." He was talking about the young men's neckties.
Then Brother Tenney pulled out a sack of his own favorite ties and offered the young men the opportunity to trade for something more appropriate to wear while passing the sacrament. He taught the young men the same principle we discussed above. Members of the Aaronic Priesthood wear white shirts and conservative neckties so that they don't detract from the reverence the sacrament deserves. During the sacrament, we want people to be able to focus on the Savior, not on movie advertisements on our neckties. In the same way, our clothes and fashions should draw others' eyes to our eyes, not to other parts of our bodies.

WHEN FASHION IS A PAIN

In the past few years I've met young people with pierced eyebrows, pierced tongues, and pierced noses. As my eyes have noticed their various facial perforations, a certain word always pops into my mind: Ow! I normally have another thought too: That looks horrible. Why would you do that to yourself? I won't pretend to understand some fads. I freely admit that I just don't get it. As a general rule, I try to avoid wearing things that cause pain, make people grimace, or set off metal detectors at airports. Some young people dress outrageously to irritate old people, go against the norm, or get attention. If attention is what they want, I suppose they get some. But it's too bad they puncture their faces in the process.
A few years ago while waiting in a doctor's office, I read a magazine article about tattoos and piercings that I found very interesting, and I think you will too:
Piercing: the hole thing
how: A needle or stud makes a hole in the skin. . . .
temporary effects: To heal, a piercing takes a week or two (ears, eyebrow) to a month or more (navel, nose, tongue). Cleanliness is superimportant. For a bottom lip piercing, swill Listerine. Eating and speaking are tricky for a few days with a pierced tongue. Watch for redness or itching, which may signal an infection or allergy to nickel (most silver and gold jewelry contains a trace of it for strength).
removal: Piercings are easily abandoned but can leave permanent evidence. Heidi Sherman, an editor at [this magazine] had a bellyful of trouble with her belly button. "The ring leaned a bit and rubbed where my jeans' waist is. I had to be careful what I wore," Sherman says. "It's been out seven years and has left a big brown dot." . . .
Tattoo or not tattoo?
. . . where: Dye is injected into the skin's top layers. Needles of varying sizes are dipped in pigment, which is drawn into a tube in the needle. As the needles make holes, color enters the skin. . . .
temporary effects: Getting a tattoo means needles puncturing your skin over and over. It's painful. For a week or two you have to clean the tattoo with an antibacterial agent, slather on antibiotic cream and keep it covered. Pools are out for a while—water and sun can damage the color.
risks: Any cutting of the skin opens you up to hazards that include hepatitis, TB and HIV. Yellow and red dyes can sometimes produce allergic reactions if exposed to the sun.
Sounds pretty negative, doesn't it? So what magazine do you think I got that from? Parents magazine? Discourage Your Teen magazine? Limit Freedom Monthly? No. It was from the June 2000 issue of Seventeen ("Body Art," 194-96)—not exactly a conservative publication. I appreciate the honesty in the article, but the Church doesn't look to Seventeen for help with rules, principles, and doctrines. We look to the Lord and his servants.
On page sixteen, our current For the Strength of Youth warns us of the painful fashions mentioned above in these words: "Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings. If girls or women desire to have their ears pierced, they are encouraged to wear only one pair of modest earrings."
Someone may be thinking, "But Brother Bytheway, would wearing one extra set of earrings really keep me out of heaven?" All of my rigorous training and vast experience leads to me to answer, "I don't know." So I'm not much help. Let's ask someone smarter than I am. Elder M. Russell Ballard spoke of a young Laurel who answered that question for herself:
I know a 17- year- old who, just prior to the prophet's talk, had pierced her ears a second time. She came home from the fireside, took off the second set of earrings, and simply said to her parents, "If President Hinckley says we should only wear one set of earrings, that's good enough for me."
Wearing two pair of earrings may or may not have eternal consequences for this young woman, but her willingness to obey the prophet will. . . . Are we listening, brothers and sisters? Are we hearing the words of the prophet to us as parents, as youth leaders, and as youth? Or are we allowing ourselves . . . to be blinded by pride and stubbornness, which could prevent us from receiving the blessings that come from following the teachings of God's prophet? ("'His Word Ye Shall Receive,'" Ensign, May 2001, 66; emphasis added).
I love what Elder Ballard said. The earrings may or may not have eternal consequences, but "her willingness to obey the prophet will." Bingo! That's the point. It's not about your ears; it's about your attitude! It's not about your hemlines; it's about your heart! It's not about your dress; it's about your disposition! What does the Lord require? "Behold the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days" (D&C 64:34).
How do you know if your heart is willing? Look at your wardrobe. But someone may say, "But it's my body, so it's my choice, right?" To answer that question, let's again look at what a prophet has said. (You know we're a little dense when the Apostle Paul has to begin a scripture like this: "What?") Notice below how quickly Paul gets to the doctrine: our body is a place for the Holy Ghost to dwell. Also, notice who your body really belongs to.
What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
You and I are "bought with a price." What was the price? It was suffering beyond anything we can imagine by Jesus Christ (D&C 19:16-19). When we take a coupon to the grocery store, we say, "I'd like to redeem this coupon." We then use the coupon to buy something. Jesus bought us with his blood, which is why we call him our Redeemer (Acts 20:28). We are not our own. We belong to him because we have made a covenant to take his name upon us and to keep the commandments he has given us (Mosiah 26:18; 18:10).

READ ALL ABOUT IT

Fortunately, many Latter- day Saint young women are changing the world instead of letting the world change them. And Latter- day Saints are not the only ones concerned about the fashion trends of increasing immodesty. Let me show you a sampling of newspaper stories from around the country:
Fashion, Not Flashin'Surf City Teen Kristi Wilson Proudly Strutted Her Modest Wear in a Fashion Show at Nordstrom on Saturday"I cannot describe the feeling [of] . . . being able to get up there in front of all my friends modeling clothing I felt completely comfortable in," Wilson said. "It has always been so hard to find tops that aren't too short or pants that aren't too low, [and] finding prom dresses was the biggest nightmare."
As a Mormon teen, her standards for clothing are more conservative than the standards reflected in much of the clothing offered today by a Britney Spears- Christina Aguilera- J. Lo- influenced fashion industry (Michele Marr, Huntington Beach Independent, 3 April 2003, A-7).
Modest DreamFinding the Perfect Prom Dress—with SleevesIn a world where teen fashion seems all about showing something—a midriff, a shoulder, a cheeky bra strap, even—there are about 4,800 girls in Arizona shopping for prom dresses with one caveat: They can't, and some don't want to, show anything at all.
Mostly, they are Mormons, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints, but are joined by other conservative or religious girls, and by a few peers who've tired of the Britney Spears look (Jaimee Rose, The Arizona Republic, 26 April 2003, E-1)
A Modest ProposalMormon Girls Line Up for Fashion Show Featuring Less SkinThanks to the unlikely collaboration of two fashion- frustrated Mormon moms and customer- friendly Nordstrom, [Anaheim High School senior Katie Sereno] has an alternative—more than 30 of them. A Nordstrom in Costa Mesa was hosting a sold- out fashion show this weekend featuring 33 Mormon teenage girls from Southern California wearing stylish dresses with not a spaghetti strap in sight (William Lobdell, San Francisco Chronicle, 12 October 2002, A-2).
Parents Refuse to Buy Risque Outfits for GirlsA growing number of parents are becoming outraged by the proliferation of provocative clothes for their children, particularly in the preteen departments. As they take their daughters back- to- school shopping, they say they won't buckle under societal pressures to transform their teens into clones of Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera (The Washington Times, 9 August 2001).
Yes indeed. Latter-day Saint teenagers don't have to go with the flow of the world. They can go against the grain, make some noise, and change some hearts. Here are some websites for finding modest prom dresses: modestbydesign.com, modestprom.com, greatlengths.com, latterdaybride.com

BEFORE I CLOTHES

If we had a top-five chart of reasons to dress modestly and avoid extremes, what would the list look like? It might include these items:
1. What you wear sends a message about who you are and what you believe. You're a high- class person, a son or daughter of God who has taken upon yourself the name of Christ, so make your clothes match your message.
2. If you hope to be attractive by dressing immodestly, you may actually be repulsive to the very people you're hoping to attract.
3. Real beauty comes from within—always has, always will.
4. If people aren't looking at our eyes because of the way we dress, they're seeing our body as an object, and they're not seeing the real us.
5. Our body is not really ours. It has been bought with a price and is a temple for the Holy Ghost.
We've talked about rules and we've mentioned a few principles, but once again, we've noticed the doctrine behind the standards. The guidelines are all intended to help us keep the Spirit—the gift of the Holy Ghost. President Harold B. Lee taught:
Do not underestimate the important symbolic and actual effect of appearance. Persons who are well groomed and modestly dressed invite the companionship of the Spirit of our Father in Heaven and are able to exercise a wholesome influence upon those around them. Persons who are unkempt and careless about their appearance, or adopt the visual symbols of those who often oppose our ideals, expose themselves and persons around them to influences that are degrading and dissonant. Outward appearance is often a reflection of inward tendencies (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1996], 220).